Finally...

I've been having a strange feeling lately. Last night I was trying to figure out how I would best describe what I'd been experiencing.

I have a husband, whom I adore and who I know adores me. Someone I know has my back, he will always be there with honest advice and a cuddle when I need it. Someone who appreciates the full spectrum of Erin- whether I'm singing my silly little songs or screaming gibberish while pounding out a full clip of 5.56. George allows me to be comfortable being me and doesn't ask for anything else. I know our bond is strong enough to get through anything the world throws at us. George, you are the peanut butter to my jelly, there's no one else I'd rather spend eternity with.

Our little family is perfect. Blue is the best, sweetest, goofiest little lady you've ever met, she is me in canine form. Seeing her blossom into a happy dog has been a joy and a pleasure. Klinger is a strange little man, he is truly his father with an addiction to ice cubes. Even Nibbler, with his sideways-bouncing, mindless rage, makes me laugh.

I have family that, even though I don't seen them that often, are always there for me.  My loved ones are happy, and know if they need me, I'm just a phone call or email away. Ryan, Amanda, and Lynn- I love all three of you so much, you are all such strong women. Dustin & Silky, I am so happy to finally call you family "for real!" Gigi- it's a wide, wide world, I can't wait to explore it with you. Shirah, I haven't seen you in forever, we should fix that. Earth Momma & Mirz, expect to see a LOT more of me when we move to Mississippi, prepare yo'selves! I hope you guys realize the job and the Army stop me getting out of Fayetteville much, and I hope they know that I make those sacrifices because I love my job.

ZipQuest satisfies my ADD, by pulling from all my strengths. Guiding tours provides the opportunity to interact with a variety of people on a regular basis, and my job is to make sure they have fun! Base work means I get to be out in nature, observing the change in seasons and preserving a truly unique ecosystem. Learning about Resmark enables me to streamline our reservation experience for the managers and produce excellent results for the owners. I am constantly learning, honing my skills, and developing a unique company into a successful business!

I have been fortunate to have the trust of the Bryan family, particularly Eason, who allows me the opportunity to experiment with good, valid ideas with little fear of negative repercussions. The support of my brother-from-another-mother and co-manager, Jordan Princess Twinkletoes, who is often the other half of my brain at work. A rock-solid crew that truly put the "fun" in dysfunctional: Ryan, Chelsea, Hana, Greg, Brandon and Johannah. You guys all piss excellence and shit miracles, I truly could not ask for better co-workers. I know I can often seem angry and abrupt, but it's only because I want us to be the absolute best. I know we can and are the best, whether or not you realize it, we are standing at the edge of what is only going to be an AMAZING season.

I have a network of friends all over the world, and most are just a click or call away. Whether or not you know it, I keep tabs on all of you. I'd name you all, but you know who you are. I hope you know how much I love and miss you. In particular, Monika, who knows what the hell and joy the last 15 months have held for me. You are such a cool person and I'm so glad you are in my life. Katie & Patrick Pahls, whom we both miss so much! Shawn & Erin, who I hope are happier in Jersey and not under attack from guidos. Sea Captain, whom I'm still waiting for another visit from, so we can lay siege to Wal-Mart. And, the Notts Crew, whom I truly miss because it's been a too long since I've had a wiggle to some techno.

So last night, lying between my dog & my husband, I realized something.  I am really fucking happy and feeling more like myself again. I think, for the first time since gran died, I've been experiencing TRUE happiness. I'm on top of the world, I can't stop grinning and damn anyone who tries to get in my way!

Be happy, my friends, it is out there. You just have to reach out and take it.