Finally...

I've been having a strange feeling lately. Last night I was trying to figure out how I would best describe what I'd been experiencing.

I have a husband, whom I adore and who I know adores me. Someone I know has my back, he will always be there with honest advice and a cuddle when I need it. Someone who appreciates the full spectrum of Erin- whether I'm singing my silly little songs or screaming gibberish while pounding out a full clip of 5.56. George allows me to be comfortable being me and doesn't ask for anything else. I know our bond is strong enough to get through anything the world throws at us. George, you are the peanut butter to my jelly, there's no one else I'd rather spend eternity with.

Our little family is perfect. Blue is the best, sweetest, goofiest little lady you've ever met, she is me in canine form. Seeing her blossom into a happy dog has been a joy and a pleasure. Klinger is a strange little man, he is truly his father with an addiction to ice cubes. Even Nibbler, with his sideways-bouncing, mindless rage, makes me laugh.

I have family that, even though I don't seen them that often, are always there for me.  My loved ones are happy, and know if they need me, I'm just a phone call or email away. Ryan, Amanda, and Lynn- I love all three of you so much, you are all such strong women. Dustin & Silky, I am so happy to finally call you family "for real!" Gigi- it's a wide, wide world, I can't wait to explore it with you. Shirah, I haven't seen you in forever, we should fix that. Earth Momma & Mirz, expect to see a LOT more of me when we move to Mississippi, prepare yo'selves! I hope you guys realize the job and the Army stop me getting out of Fayetteville much, and I hope they know that I make those sacrifices because I love my job.

ZipQuest satisfies my ADD, by pulling from all my strengths. Guiding tours provides the opportunity to interact with a variety of people on a regular basis, and my job is to make sure they have fun! Base work means I get to be out in nature, observing the change in seasons and preserving a truly unique ecosystem. Learning about Resmark enables me to streamline our reservation experience for the managers and produce excellent results for the owners. I am constantly learning, honing my skills, and developing a unique company into a successful business!

I have been fortunate to have the trust of the Bryan family, particularly Eason, who allows me the opportunity to experiment with good, valid ideas with little fear of negative repercussions. The support of my brother-from-another-mother and co-manager, Jordan Princess Twinkletoes, who is often the other half of my brain at work. A rock-solid crew that truly put the "fun" in dysfunctional: Ryan, Chelsea, Hana, Greg, Brandon and Johannah. You guys all piss excellence and shit miracles, I truly could not ask for better co-workers. I know I can often seem angry and abrupt, but it's only because I want us to be the absolute best. I know we can and are the best, whether or not you realize it, we are standing at the edge of what is only going to be an AMAZING season.

I have a network of friends all over the world, and most are just a click or call away. Whether or not you know it, I keep tabs on all of you. I'd name you all, but you know who you are. I hope you know how much I love and miss you. In particular, Monika, who knows what the hell and joy the last 15 months have held for me. You are such a cool person and I'm so glad you are in my life. Katie & Patrick Pahls, whom we both miss so much! Shawn & Erin, who I hope are happier in Jersey and not under attack from guidos. Sea Captain, whom I'm still waiting for another visit from, so we can lay siege to Wal-Mart. And, the Notts Crew, whom I truly miss because it's been a too long since I've had a wiggle to some techno.

So last night, lying between my dog & my husband, I realized something.  I am really fucking happy and feeling more like myself again. I think, for the first time since gran died, I've been experiencing TRUE happiness. I'm on top of the world, I can't stop grinning and damn anyone who tries to get in my way!

Be happy, my friends, it is out there. You just have to reach out and take it.

Day 6: A picture of something that makes you happy

 Ah, something I love: cooking! I don't get to dedicate as much time to it as I'd like, but there's nothing better than whipping up some edible presents for someone you love. For me, it's a simple pleasure and a stress reliever. There's a large part of me that can't wait to have kids simply because I'd have more people to cook for! 

Catching up: Day 5: A song to match your mood

It's been a hectic week at work, so I've seriously neglected my blogging. On the upside, the paycheck will be very nice!

We're having a lazy sunday today, lots of lying around and watching movies. It's been a long while since G and I have been able to wake up next to each other, not rush any where, and spend a day doing nothing. On this perfect, rainy sunday, I'm reminded of a cover song G listened to quite a bit when we first got together.

  

The world was on fire and no one could save me but you.

It's strange what desire will make foolish people do.
And I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you.
And I never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you.

No, I don't want to fall in love.
No, I don't want to fall in love.
With you. With you.

What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way.
What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you.
What a wicked thing to say, you never felt that way.
What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you and,

I don't want to fall in love.
No, I don't want to fall in love.
With you. With you.

The world was on fire and no one could save me but you.
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do.
And I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you.
And I never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you.

No I, don't want to fall in love.
No I, don't want to fall in love.
No I.
No I.
Nobody loves no one.

Day 4: Your parents

Wow, what can I say about this one without being too harsh? My mom had it rough growing up, as a result she was always kind of overbearing; that's where I inherited bipolar disorder. My dad, well, he is a Navy Veteran, spent eight years on submarines. When I was five, they went through a very messy divorce. If you can get past the personality disorders & alcohol abuse, my parents are lovely people- just definitely not right for each other.

I guess if you are seeking to ascertain who had the most influence on my life, it would be my grandmother. Dolores taught me everything about what it was to remain independent. When I would go stay with her, she always made sure there were things I loved in the house- specifically Jif Extra Crunchy peanut butter & white american cheese. Any other food in the house was there to teach me to cook, and everything she taught me has proved to be invaluable information. She lived on her own up until she was diagnosed with congestive heart failure in 2009, which is amazing to me as she lost her sight in 1987.

When I moved in with my Gran in May of 2009, she still wanted to help as much as possible, which led to some funny & scary situations. I woke up one morning to black smoke filling the house when she tried to make me bacon & pancakes. Or the day Amanda, Dustin & I cut the massive tree limb down that had been hanging over the house & as it crashes to the ground, Gran yells "I see the light!." She was one of the smartest, strongest and most interesting people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. I gave up everything to be with her & I don't regret a second of it.

There's not an hour that goes by where I don't think about her. Love you Gran, wish you were here.

Day 3: Your first love

My first love has always been dogs. Humans are much too transient, often lacking loyalty or are just plain disingenuous. So I guess my first love was a named JoJo. She would let me ride her around the yard like a tiny horse when I was a child.


Dogs have taught me many of life's valuable lessons:

• Never pass up the opportunity of a joy ride. 
• Allow the wind and fresh air in your face to be pure ecstasy. 
• Never pretend to be somthing you are not . 
• Let others know when they've invaded your territory.  
• Run, romp and play daily. 
• Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.  
• On warm days, stop and lie on your back in the grass. 
• On hot days drink lots of water and lie in the shade of a tree.  
• Be loyal. 
• When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.  
• When it's in your best interests, practice obedience. 
• Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.  
• Eat with gusto and enthusiasm, but stop when you've had enough.

I've had many furry friends over the years, right now I'm graced with the presence of the sweetest little snuggler ever- a Husky/Collie mix  named Baby Blue. Blue has been my first rescue where we've had to over-come both physical and emotional obstacles. She repays us by being the sweetest girl anyone could ever ask for.


There'll be much more on Blue's story later on in my blog.  Keeping her & ensuring her safety was quite the lengthy process, but it was all worth it. She's safe, loved, and happy to be with her "people;" which is all a dog truly wants anyway.

Day 2: The Meaning Behind my Blog Name

I missed a day yesterday, due to at home chaos, followed by nap time. Which I highly recommend! "Stressed out?! Take a nap!" So I'll be posting 2 days ay once to make up for it.

Wow, not really much to say about this one. Erin is my name (obviously) and I've been having disjointed thoughts for most of my life, so "Ramblings" seemed like an efficient way to describe them. Who needs logic anyway?

Day 1: Introduction, Recent Picture, & 15 interesting facts

How's it going? I'm Erin, and the photo is of me around Christmas 2010.

1. As you can probably tell from the photo, target shooting is one of my favorite hobbies. It is one I share with my other half- G.
2. I am a hard-core Steelers fan, I get remarkably wound up watching their games.
3. I am an Operations Administrator for a zip line course. It's a great job.
4.  I fear nothing except spiders and clowns. If the two ever interbreed into a hybrid species I will promptly shit myself & die.
5. I swear, a lot. It's not due to a lack of vocabulary, more of a matter of exasperation with the human race.
6. G & I are proud parents to a rescue dog, crazy ferret, & cat I found at work. Our "kids" are great, I'm glad they get along with each other.
7. I love to cook! I view it as an edible art made with love and food.
8. I'm never happier than when I am dangling from a zip line above the forrest floor, or lying prone in the dirt letting off some rounds with G.
9. I'm not a very "girly" woman, I abhor the color pink. To me, a real woman is someone who is capable of taking care of herself- emotionally & physically.
10. I enjoy all kinds of music, except mainstream rap- I do not see the musical value in a man screaming a list of what he owns or wants at me.
11. My grandmother meant the world to me, she taught me what is is to be a strong woman. Not many people could continue to be independent for over 20 years after they have lost their eyesight.
12. I have no idea what I want to do with my life, I'm just enjoying the ride.
13. It takes a long time for me to "warm up" to someone. If I decide you're cool, You will have a friend for life, unless you betray my trust.
14. Sometimes I just want to wrestle. I believe everyone should have a controlled fight/wrestle ever few months to get some aggression out. There's something very humbling about having your ass handed to you.
15. I'm not sure how I feel about getting older. I don't dig having a nagging injury that won't go away!